All my life I'm always seeking for an answer Why can't life be more simple? Is love the key to my answer Or the thing that makes our life so complicated
All my life... seeking for an answer
Thursday, September 14, 2006
4:20 PM
Disappointed.. We quarrel again yesterday night or should I say.. I get angry again yesterday nite throwing my "da xiao jie pi qi".I guess that is what he think.. This time is still because of that girl. Her name is Velancia. Yesterday he told me that he will call me after work but he did not. I did not blame him but still sense that something is wrong. At night I called him for a chat..we were chatting happily until I ask him if that ger still waits for him after work.. He wasn't sure if telling me the truth was a good thing because he's afraid that I might get angry again. But I ensure him that telling me the truth will at least make me trust him more. So he admit that the ger did wait for him. But he did not say :"she wait.." He say "coincidence".Am I dumb or wat?Well I'm fine with that answer but what make me sad is what he said later on.. We don't know how to come about but he say that the ger knows about the "time-out" between us.Why the hell would he let her know that?Is that how he solved the problem between them?He told the ger currently doesn't want the both of us. Then I reacted: U told her U don't want both of us? Why? You don't want me? He tried to explain saying that he thought it will be a better way to put out to her that he doesn't want her. By saying that won't help at all.. instead he's putting in a way that she still got chance.. he's putting in a way that he's still choosing between me and her. Of course.. I get angry.. so angry that I couldn't stop myself from crying.. He doesn't''t understand why am I angry and what wrong did he do.I get so upset yesterday nite and was really desperate to find someone to talk to. I logged in to MSN and msg some of my frens.. but I guessed it was already too late.. none of them reply me. I was so desperate to find someone to confide with that I downloaded MIRC just to talk to strangers.
Interesting person.. I get to talk to this guy.. he seems like a person who I can pour out all my troubles with.. so I told him what happen.. later we end up talking on the phone. He listened to all my troubles and then told me that he feel that either my bf doesn't know how to handle this kinda situation or he is just playing around with the two of us ( me and the ger). He also commented something which makes me really sad.. He say that "if a guy really love a ger.. when there's another ger who willing to do so much for him.. he may feel flattered but he will push that ger away just not to hurt the ger he loves.." I do understand that different people handle situation differently.. but the way my bf does things.. makes me have doubts in him. I feel like I don't understand him at all.. As his gf.. I never do anything wrong before.. everytime when I know someone is interested in me.. I will never go near them.. I will stay really far far away from them just to avoid things to happen. I never go out with other guys b4.. never.. Even though we are having time-out..I did try to ask if anyone wanna meet up with me.. but in the end I still freak out. I think that if I really go out with another guy.. I'm doing something wrong.. but why doesn't he think that way too? Anyway continue about this guy, I would really wanna thank him for his advise and comfort. Well we did continue to chat and.. wow his life is really very complicated and exciting I guessed. I think I will not post anything to do about his life in here just in case someone actually gets to read this blog.
