All my life... seeking for an answer
Thursday, September 28, 2006
10:15 PM
I'm so so so looking forward to tomorrow! I'm going camping @ sentosa with my ex colleagues! C'mon shout 3 Yeahs with me ! YEAH YEAH YEAH! I'm so excited!!!! =D tomorrow will be a wonderful day!!
cOrin's Secret
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All my life... seeking for an answer
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
10:03 PM
I was feeling really tired for the past two days when sch reopen. Beginning to hope to graduate sooner.. faster. Sick of doing so many projects.. sick of being the target for other people's entertainment. Sick of listening to study really hard when exam comes.. I feel really sick of these things.. Sometimes I wonder.. why didn't I study early? These things may end many years ago for me.. I may take things too serious sometimes but I think there's a limit to everything...well.. its okay.. 1yr plus to go.
Lol but there are still some stuffs which I love about school..
- I love going nite cycling with my classmates( although only once)
- I love my gem~( Etiquette & Professional Image) This course allows you to know how to dress professionally and what are the important etiquette we need to know in the business world. I first thought that its a very simple gem but after I did the quick test, I realize that there's alot of stuffs which I didn't know. Example what kinda of color is suitable for ur skin tone.. a person with long body and short legs should wear what.. and when you are having dinner at a Western restaurant you have to break the bread roll piece by piece with your fingers (instead of using knife) and buttering it with your bread knife.... k k may sound boring to u but I find it quite interesting.
- I love some of the teachers in the school
- I love some of my friends in the school
Lol corin.. corin..nothing will be perfect.. there is always "hates" and "loves".. "negative" and "positive".."good"and "bad" I think I have to think more on the good and positive side and maybe my life will be better.
cOrin's Secret
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All my life... seeking for an answer
Sunday, September 24, 2006
9:24 PM
Today is my dearest mum's birthday! Happy Birthday Mummy ~MuackS!! We celebrate her birthday at a Chinese restaurant located at Thomson Plaza. Their food was erm.. "so-so" but their dessert was da bestzzz!!!! Mango sago with Pomelo~wHat A fantastic comBinatiON! But the meal was really expensive.. so if next time I go there.. I will just order their dessert! hehe We did not buy a cake for her but we sing two version of Birthday song for her! She was laughing her hearts out because we sound terrible singing together! We later find out because my father was singing out of tune all along. She made him sing alone for her and he sound so funny and cute! Yeah I love my family alot and I hope they will always be happy and healthy!
cOrin's Secret
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All my life... seeking for an answer
Friday, September 22, 2006
2:15 AM
yepz I still think of him today.. when I say that doesn't mean that I will still want to be with him. We have been together for a year.. of course it will take me some time to get over it. But no worries! Smiling happily everydaY!! Was playing maple the whole day -_- training a new character @ Aquila lol yea yea I know dumb game.. but I'm realLy bored!! Meet up with Irene and Pingfang for dinner and both of them are really stress up! They are so busy this month. When we go out... every half an hour.. their office will call them up or they have to call back to follow up with their work. So poor thing!
Today I told my parents that me and Eugene broke up... they start asking why and how I'm feeling. "Not suitable" was my answer to them.. and I ensure them that I'm feeling okay.. as long as they doesn't ask me anything else. My father reacted very funnie.. he suddenly slap my mum's arm and say .. "dun ask already!" They afraid that I will burst out crying infront of them..well.. indeed I will.
To Eugene if you are reading...
Hey.. I think I need some time to get over it so.. please be so kind not to contact me at the moment.. I do treasure the moments when we are together.. and I glad that you finally gave me your answer. Please don't feel guilty at all because that is what you really wanted and both of us couldn't save the relationship at all. Never worried that I will be sad because I still have my friends and family by my side loving me too. Even though we can't be lovers but yea. we can be friends. You will always be a special person in my heart.Hope that things will work out for u in future and let's hope the same for me too. All the best to u.
cOrin's Secret
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All my life... seeking for an answer
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
10:16 PM
what a joke.. yesterday I was still blogging about how to let yourself feel better when you are sad and now I'm feeling miserable. Our relationship finally ends today..1 yr 1 mth+ relationship ends today... Actually feeling relieve,because I don't have to think about it anymore. I will still miss him for now.. but tomorrow when I wake up.. I will have to stop thinking and move on with my life.Don't have to worry about me.. I'm a very strong person, even though I get upset easily but I will get over it sooner or later. Pls pls if anyone of u read this blog.. pls don't ask me what happen. Just pretend that you never know anything about it.. let me tell you ppl when I'm ready. Now.. just let me be alone by myself..
cOrin's Secret
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All my life... seeking for an answer
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
4:09 PM
oo!! Really wanna get myself a new handphone! My hp is going crazy these few days!! Never mind.. I think 1 mth I just save about $50 .. In 6 mths time I should able to buy 1 for myself!HEHE!Sometimes I find myself really fortunate. I have so many friends around me.. showering their love and concern for me when I'm down. To those who are feeling really upset.. troubled.. angry.. frustrated.. You can try to think about those nice things that happens to you before.. Try not to keep it to yourself.. share your troubles with your frens who u trust. If you don't have any, try my suggestion. Find a stranger! Of course you have to talk to that person for awhile to know what kinda person he/she is. If u think that you are comfortable talking to that person, go ahead! Tell that person that you are feeling miserable inside and need to let it all out! Even though at the moment my relationship is kinda *complicated* now (Complicated? Confusing? I can't seems to find a word to describe it at the moment.. so just use complicated) I don't go and think about it anymore. I think we have to move on with our life.. even though in between our lives.. there will be ups and down.. but do believe that only the down period let u learn something important to your life... Óh gosh! Forgive me if u doesn't know what the hell I'm talking about.. loL~anyway I'm suppose to do my housework now .. so WHAT AM I STILL DOING HERE? I still got to prepare to meet Pingfang for a swim after my housework! So tata!
cOrin's Secret
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All my life... seeking for an answer
oHhh.. wake Up toO early for the registeration for gems... So tired.. I'm going back to sleep.. *yawnz*
cOrin's Secret
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All my life... seeking for an answer
Monday, September 18, 2006
12:12 AM
OMG past twelve agaiN!!!! LOL well yesterday was ermm half fun! Spend half the day doing nothing at home.. msging ppl nonsense in msn irritating them.. den another half the day (around 6pm) Meet the Yao sisters. Suppose to meet four of them but end up meeting only Irene and Caris! The other two sisters stay at home and accompany their mother. All of them are so nice and caring to their mother! Hope that in future I will have daughters like them.
I was starving to death when we reach cityhall. We had my dinner @ newyork newyork~ 
Well I ordered half roasted chicken..Irene and Caris who already had their dinner, ordered crunchy mushroom.. pasta.. two chocolate cakes! I'm so greedy.. I agree to share half the pasta with Irene because she wanted to try the pasta so much even when she's full! After I finish my half chicken, I regret to give her my promise.. I was so fuLL! Irene finished her half pasta and pushed the plate near to me obviously telling me that the other half of the pasta belongs to me! I think when ppl walked past and saw that.. will think that I never eat for many days. OMG I was forcing myself to finish the pasta! Never never be so greedy again!
We took some pictures when we are in New York New York! EnjoY!
They feel so disgusted when doing that.. and doesn't dare to look at each other! So funnie!
cOrin's Secret
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All my life... seeking for an answer
Sunday, September 17, 2006
12:31 AM
OpPS! Past twelve again! Wow Have a fun day yesterday! Can't stop laughing the whole day! That Pingfang really can make ppl laugh! We went ice skating and that was a very scary activity!! At first I can't even stand straight. A uncle saw me wiggling here and there and den finally couldn't stand seeing a stupid girl trying to balance herself.. he tell me that I did not wear my shoes tight enough, so that is why I cannot balance myself. The whole skating thingy really makes me feel like an old woman. Alot of the skaters there are kinda helpful.. giving some useful tips.. but I still cannot overcome my fear falling down hurting my butt!!! There are so many experts there and I seems like the only person screaming the whole time when Ping fang ask me to let go of the bar. Some of them even laugh at me! Finally I give up and choose to stand at the side looking at Ping fang skating round and round. I guess Pingfang did not enjoy at all because she's skating alone most of the time! So sorry ger! But I really do envy you that you got the guts to skate when there are so many siao ding dong out there "zoOming" (zoom? sure? aiya watever larh) here and there.
After that we decided to go IMM.. before going there, we went Aries to buy the "gold digger" lol I just recently break my father's " gold digger" so long time never clean my ear already.. and so qiao that Pingfang's ear was feeling very itchy. On the way to IMM.. We were actually digging our ear secretly! We couldn't stop laughing...luckily the sky is quite dark that time.. so nobody finds out hohoho!
I bought Ping Fang to my favourite store which is Daiso!! A very nice store that sells everything at $2! That store is a very big store that sell almost everthing that u can think of! Anyway we went to the kids department and did some cheeky stuffs!
PRESENT
ING AH GONG AND AH DAI
cOrin's Secret
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All my life... seeking for an answer
Saturday, September 16, 2006
2:18 AM
Doesn't really know what to blog today.. but still feel like leaving a blog before I sleep. Now its already 2am plus in the morning so gonna blog about yesterday stuffs. Was idling the whole day yesterday.. was suppose to meet pingfang for jogging but she work till very late. Tmr we decide to go ice skating! I think it will be a fun day.
For vivian.. if you are reading ..
I apologize being so rude to you when you are trying to talk to me about me and Eugene.. I understand your intention but I really would wanna get him out of my mind at the moment. I need to tell you clearly what's is on my mind. First, I know in this world there is no so-call "perfect man". I fully understand that I cannot control a person and I understand that if I do that I'm making the person unhappy. In another way round.. if the person is doing something which I don't like.. even though I may give way to him.. but when time goes by I won't be happy too . I know couple should give and take.. but if I'm not happy with whatever he do and he's not happy that I'm controlling him.. its shows that both of us is not happy already. I must say that I love him alot.. that is why I'm still holding on to the relationship.. however to love someone in reality.. its not so simple as we thought it will be. I will have to think...will I be happy with this man in future? Can he take care of me in future? He is also worrying about this therefore he also suggested a time-out. I admit that I doesn't want to keep in contact with him at the moment is partly because I'm mad at him.. but another reason is because I need to cool down and think.. and also I need him to let himself know what he wants too. Now he doesn't know wat he want also.. if I still keep in contact with him.. we will never find out the answer... I understand your good intention of helping us.. but sorry vivian.. I think I need to decide what to do myself... hope that you won't get angry with me.. pls try to understand my feelings too..
cOrin's Secret
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All my life... seeking for an answer
Friday, September 15, 2006
1:53 AM
So tired...
I have decided... Until he know what he wants..these period, we shall not contact each other. Hopefully that soon, both of us know if we really need each other. When I told him about it, he's not able to accept it however I'm quite firm with this decision. I think that I really should cool myself down and think about our relationship.. asking myself whether I can still believe him in future.. asking myself am I wrong all the while.. asking myself where do he or I stand in each other's heart.
I now begin to understand that I have to believe in myself. Have been telling some of my frens about us.. and I get different advise..different opinions. I do not know who to listen to and do not know what is right or wrong. Now I know.. whatever I do.. we must believe in myself and follow my heart. Even though it may be wrong or other ppl might disapprove of what I do.. at least I follow what my heart really wants.. and at least I will feel more comfortable of what I have decide.. I'm not saying that those advice other ppl gave me are rubbish or whatever, they are still useful to me, but when it comes to the big decision making.. I still have to decide myself and what my heart really want.
I feel so tired.. so tired of waiting for his answer.. so tired of listening to what he said which doesn't seems real to me.. so tired of pretending to be happy infront my family.. tired of thinking to myself what should I do..what should I do.. tired of crying.. tired of everything! I need to be alone...
cOrin's Secret
1 Comments:
dont be too sad.. probably its right to let yourself cool down for some time and really think what should be the next step. Whatever u do, as long as u happy, I will support u. Most impt is dont regret any decisions that you make in life. =D
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All my life... seeking for an answer
Thursday, September 14, 2006
4:20 PM
Disappointed..
We quarrel again yesterday night or should I say.. I get angry again yesterday nite throwing my "da xiao jie pi qi".I guess that is what he think.. This time is still because of that girl. Her name is Velancia. Yesterday he told me that he will call me after work but he did not. I did not blame him but still sense that something is wrong. At night I called him for a chat..we were chatting happily until I ask him if that ger still waits for him after work.. He wasn't sure if telling me the truth was a good thing because he's afraid that I might get angry again. But I ensure him that telling me the truth will at least make me trust him more. So he admit that the ger did wait for him. But he did not say :"she wait.." He say "coincidence". Am I dumb or wat? Well I'm fine with that answer but what make me sad is what he said later on.. We don't know how to come about but he say that the ger knows about the "time-out" between us. Why the hell would he let her know that? Is that how he solved the problem between them? He told the ger currently doesn't want the both of us. Then I reacted: U told her U don't want both of us? Why? You don't want me? He tried to explain saying that he thought it will be a better way to put out to her that he doesn't want her. By saying that won't help at all.. instead he's putting in a way that she still got chance.. he's putting in a way that he's still choosing between me and her. Of course.. I get angry.. so angry that I couldn't stop myself from crying.. He doesn't''t understand why am I angry and what wrong did he do.I get so upset yesterday nite and was really desperate to find someone to talk to. I logged in to MSN and msg some of my frens.. but I guessed it was already too late.. none of them reply me. I was so desperate to find someone to confide with that I downloaded MIRC just to talk to strangers.
Interesting person..
I get to talk to this guy.. he seems like a person who I can pour out all my troubles with.. so I told him what happen.. later we end up talking on the phone. He listened to all my troubles and then told me that he feel that either my bf doesn't know how to handle this kinda situation or he is just playing around with the two of us ( me and the ger). He also commented something which makes me really sad.. He say that "if a guy really love a ger.. when there's another ger who willing to do so much for him.. he may feel flattered but he will push that ger away just not to hurt the ger he loves.." I do understand that different people handle situation differently.. but the way my bf does things.. makes me have doubts in him. I feel like I don't understand him at all.. As his gf.. I never do anything wrong before.. everytime when I know someone is interested in me.. I will never go near them.. I will stay really far far away from them just to avoid things to happen. I never go out with other guys b4.. never.. Even though we are having time-out..I did try to ask if anyone wanna meet up with me.. but in the end I still freak out. I think that if I really go out with another guy.. I'm doing something wrong.. but why doesn't he think that way too? Anyway continue about this guy, I would really wanna thank him for his advise and comfort. Well we did continue to chat and.. wow his life is really very complicated and exciting I guessed. I think I will not post anything to do about his life in here just in case someone actually gets to read this blog.
cOrin's Secret
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All my life... seeking for an answer
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
12:47 AM
Money..
Yesterday was a very boring day.. my purse only left $16 and that really sux. I realize that spending your day outside with so little money was really torturing . Shuqin asked me out and I actually went out taking $16 only thinking that it should be enough. We went and watch a movie ( luckily she have voucher so I only pay $3 for the show) and we also have our dinner at Sakae sushi.. (spending $10 cos we are not so hungry)Finally at nite I spend all my money buying pasar malam food for my parents and brother( Only enough money to buy sharkfin soup for my mum and father to share. plus 1 Taiwan sausage for my brother. Don't have enough to buy anything for myself =< )ow my purse is empty!!
Birthday..
Today is my birthday! My brother bought a Guess wallet for me andI received some birthday wishes sms from my frens.. I'm so touched! Some of them remember my birthday!! What a wonderful thing to know!
Me and Him..
I think I forgive him.. When he called me on the phone.. I dun feel sad anymore.. in fact I can talk to him in a very nice tone. He told me that he talked about our problems with some of his friends.. They all think that we should have a time out. I also think that time out is the only solution to find out if we really need each other. Of course I will never let my parents find out.. I think that if they know.. they will think bad of him. So that means I have to keep lying to them about us. I will be going out with him tmr.. hope everything will goes well for us.
cOrin's Secret
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All my life... seeking for an answer
Monday, September 11, 2006
1:06 AM
Today... he suppose to call me and meet up.I waited for the whole day but he never call.. not even a msg. Until 7pm+ he called and ask if I'm okay. Why bother to call? Breaking promises is what you good at! Feeling really disappointed and lost. Disappointed is because he never keep his promise again.. lost is because he keep telling me that he love me and wouldn't wanna lose me.. but how long can we last? Our conversation ended after I give him a very cold tone..I couldn't help it.. everytime I hear his voice.. I will always talk in a vey cold tone.. After putting down the phone.. I will always blame myself for doing that.. but I will ever apologize to him..
He msg me and told me that he feel sad and confused. He said that he's afraid that our relationship won't last long. He's thinking the same as what I thought. Even though now we may accept each other demands.. but few years down the road.. can we still able to? It happen to him and his 5 yrs ex-gf.. they are together for so long its not because they love each other.. its because they are used to having each other by their side... finally his ex-gf found a new love and that is how they break up. Will that happen to us in future?
Even though I feel sad hearing him having doubts about our relationship.. but I cannot deny that he too will fear that this might happen. Worried that if we take another 5 yrs to realize this, he will be wasting my youth, cos I'm a woman. I somehow didn't know if I want to continue this relationship.. yes I do miss him alot and I realize that I love him alot too.. but I have no faith in our relationship... Oh god.. please tell me what to do..
cOrin's Secret
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All my life... seeking for an answer
Sunday, September 10, 2006
4:10 AM
This will be the place where I tell all my secrets.. Of course I would want to share my troubles with some of my close frens but they will not be the first person that I will find when I'm upset.. maybe because I know them too well and I will know wat will they say.. Usually I will find strangers to talk to when I'm feeling really really sad. Why strangers? Because you don't have to meet up with them.. you don't have to feel stress of having them to tell you what is the right thing to do..you won't have the chance of crying infront of them.. I create this blog partly is to let some of my frens to know what is my troubles.. I find it difficult to explain things to them sometimes so maybe by writing .. they will understand more clearly..
My first "not-so- secretive" secret is about my current boyfriend. Things don't goes too well between me and him. At first I thought the problem only lies on me being too demanding and him being too lazy but its not so simple.. Have a long talk with him 2 days ago.. and realise that there are actually more problems then I thought. He told me that a girl who used to work in the bank was in love with him. She break up with her bf because of him.. and every morning she will send him to work.. and meet him for lunch and even purposely wait for him after work. When I heard that.. I was really upset.What I'm sad about is that I can feel that he has feelings for her.. although not strong but.. I still cannot accept the truth. At first.. he was defending himself saying that he's only feeling guilty towards her after what she have done.. but after explaining so much.. he finally agree with me but its not so strong like what he had for me. Today he told me that he have settle this problem with that ger. He asked her and her ex-bf out and have a talk. Well what he did was trying to re-unite them and let them have a talk. He called and tell me about it. When I heard that, I was kinda happy and at lost at the same time.. I don't know if I can trust him anymore..so many lies coming out from him.. how do he expect me to trust him anymore? I know that I have not been a very good girlfriend. I admit that I actually take him for granted and expect that he will do everything that I asked for. I never make any effort to meet him up while I was complaining that we dun get to meet after he started working.
After solving the third party problem.. we have other problems to solve too. I think I was being too stubborn.. always throwing my temper when I heard something which I don't like from him. He told me that he was feeling really stress and unhappy. First, I made him stop going clubbing with his friends... den I force him to quit smoking.. den because of accompanying me .. he don't get to meet his friends. Clubbing used to be his favorite activity,but now I ban him from going there.. of course he listen.. but he doesn't like it at all. The problem here is I cannot accept people to smoke and I don't like him to go clubbing cos of one incident. I know he's unhappy about it but I will be unhappy too. He told me that as long as I'm happy he will do whatever I want him to. But.. is that the solution to our problem? I think no! Sooner or later he will regret.. and then we will start quarreling again and will end up breaking up again.. so I really donno what to do.. haiz...
cOrin's Secret
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simple ger, at
1:42 PM
